13. Comrades
"Clara, what is the matter with you? You seem to be always fretting about something lately. Now I really must know. Is there anything wrong at your home?"
"No--o," comes in muffled tones from Clara. She has her head turned away, and takes care Betty shall not catch a glimpse of her face.
Betty steps quickly across the kitchen, and lays a hand on the girl's shoulder. It quivers under her touch; yes, Clara is certainly crying.
"Clara, you must tell me what it is. I can't have you going about the house with this miserable face--just when you were beginning to get on so much better, too."
"Beginning to get on better! O miss that's just where it is!" cries Clara, with a sudden burst of tears. "I can't get on better. I try and try, and make no end of good resolutions--cart-loads of them--and then I go and break them all again directly. Seems as though my head was no better than a sieve--I can't remember; it's of no use--Oh, Oh, Oh!"
"Clara, Clara, don't, there's a dear girl. And you have been doing better--ever so much; father was saying so to me only yesterday."
"But you don't know how hard it is--you don't know how dreadfully I forget; and then I think, 'Oh, what's the use of trying? I'd far better give it all up, and just muddle along as I used to do.'"
But Betty thinks, "Ah, that's just how it used to be with me, before I went to Grannie's, before I went to The Army Meetings near Grannie's home, and gave my heart to God. I have felt like that sometimes since; but only for a little while, for the Lord has always helped me through the bad times. It is only the Lord who can help us through. I ought to tell Clara that--I must tell her!"
There is a moment's pause. Betty is nervous, and doesn't know how to begin. She makes an effort.
"Clara," she says softly. "Clara, have you ever tried to understand those words in the Bible, 'Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee'?"
Clara looks up suddenly; her eyes round with wonder. "Why, Miss Betty, whatever do you mean?"
Betty makes a greater effort. "I used to feel as you do," she says. "I used to find I couldn't keep the good resolutions I made; I used to fall into dreadful fits of hopelessness, of wanting to give up trying any more; and then I went to Grannie's--my Grannie is a Salvationist, you know--and she took me to The Army Meetings. And one night, all of a sudden, I saw quite clearly how wrong I had been. I had been trying to live a good life, trusting in my own strength; and no one can do that. It is only by coming to the Lord Jesus that we can be truly good; for it is only Jesus who can wash our sins away, and change our hearts, and make us like Himself."
There is another silence. Clara has taken up a corner of her apron, and is picking at it industriously.
"You think, miss," she says, nervously, after a while, "that--that if I went to The Army Meetings I might find it easier to do right?"
"I'm quite sure of it, Clara! O Clara, pray for a changed heart, ask for it, claim it! With the Lord for your Saviour, you'll soon conquer all the little difficulties that distress you now." Betty is nervous no longer. She has broken the ice and her words flow freely.
"And, Clara, salvation gives you such a lovely kind of happiness--I can't explain it--but very often you'll feel just the happiest girl in the whole world. How can people help being happy when they know they are on the Lord's side, when they know that He saves them, and loves them, and will take them to live with Him at last?
"There--there, I must go now, Lucy needs her dinner; but, Oh! Clara, do think of what I've said; do pray about it; do ask the Lord to show you what to do."
"She--she knows you, miss," says Clara softly.
Betty looks up from the toast she is making for Lucy's tea. Some time has passed, and Lucy is almost well again, but Betty insists on waiting upon her as much as ever.
"Who knows me?" she asks. "What are you talking about, Clara?"
"The--the Captain," answers Clara, shyly. A light breaks over Betty's mind.
"You mean my dear Captain! I'm so glad--so very glad--and so you're going to the Meetings regularly?"
"Yes, miss."
"Isn't Captain Scott sweet; isn't she just like one of the Lord's own angel messengers!" cries Betty enthusiastically.
"Yes, miss."
"And she's helped you already, Clara; you're feeling ever so much happier--I can tell that by your voice."
Clara turns slowly round, and points to an Army shield of silver, showing white against her dark dress. What a changed Clara! The tousled hair is smooth enough now under the neat cap, the dress is tidy, the apron clean. But it is not at hair or at dress that Betty is looking, not even at the shield-brooch. No, it is on the smiling face that Betty fixes her eyes.
For the old, sullen, discontented expression has gone, and the plain little face is so bright with joy and triumph that it is sweet to look upon.
What a changed Clara!"Clara!" she cries, and drops the toast, and throws her arms round the little servant's neck. "So we're both Soldiers now--we're comrades," she whispers. "Ah, you know now just the difference salvation can make--don't you, Clara?"
"Oh, yes, miss indeed I do!"
"God bless you, Clara!"
"God bless you, miss! it was all through you," whispers Clara, shyly.